I wanted to thank you all so much for reading my blog! There are some pieces I am hesitant to post. Especially the ones about depression, sadness, struggle, and suicide. I said when I started this blog it was going to be uplifting, and positive. That I was going to make people laugh. I hide behind my own sadness at times, and I sometimes find myself trying to be a little to badass. Then a reader suggested I post these things! She had contacted me to let me know how my words helped her. We had many long conversations. She admitted to struggling with depression, and acceptance since her diagnosis. I shared that I’ve been there too! She was shocked. Regina sad? Really?! I assured her that she was NOT ALONE! Many others including myself felt this way at times. It’s normal to feel this way at times! We just can’t live on Sadness Island 24-7!
It’s okay to lay low and hide sometimes………….
She then suggested that I write about these experiences. She said my strength, and humor helped her cope. She said knowing I felt some of the same things (depression, anger)that she did helped her cope even more! She was 100% sure it would help others too. People needed to see all of me. The me that sometimes gets sad, depressed, angry, resentful, struggles, questions life & my purpose are part of me too. These emotions and feelings are part of me all the same as my strength, positivity, humor, and motivation are part of me. Yes sometimes things are hard for me too!
I was still a little unsure how this would UPLIFT people?! How is making a post about sad things going to uplift people?! There are tons of sad crap on the internet to read! Tons of other sappy blogs to read. At the time I was helping a handful of people combat depression. All these people had one thing in common. Each one had a chronic illness, and it just hit me! This is something that needs to talked about! This is something that is a huge part of the chronic illness community. I don’t EVER want my readers to feel alone! So I decided to write (publish)a couple posts of about really sad stuff. True stuff. Stuff that is often the reality of people with chronic illness. Mostly I was just honest. I was honest even though it was very hard for me! It was hard to take people to my Dark Side. My pride said ‘NO NO NO NO!’ I did it! I just kept thinking of why I started this blog in the first place.
TO HELP PEOPLE! Even if its hard for me I want to help people!
I took a plunge, and opened myself up even more.
Then something amazing happened! I received an outpouring of positive comments, texts, private messages and even a phone call. I didn’t expect that to happen! I have no regrets writing those posts now! I was glad that I decided to let people in my “bubble” a place I rarely let anyone come inside. A place I keep all these private things. I spoke of my private emotions, and it was a very hard thing to do.
I felt I had to because I knew that so many others where feeling the same way too. I was again reminded that I’m not alone! That I need this blog, and my readers as much as they need me. I had many people thank me for writing these posts. Some told me that they where thankful they where not alone. That they are no longer ashamed of the melancholy feelings they had been having. They thanked me that I helped them realize there are things to live for. That yes it’s okay to be sad at times but you still have a life worth living. And if you need professional help for depression don’t sweat it! That’s what professionals are for. No shame in seeking professional help! Yes we can have a good life even though we’re sick!
Yes we struggle, but you can rise above all the hardships
! You have purpose! Please remember that someone out there is feeling the same feelings you’re. They have experienced these feelings too. You’re NOT ALONE! Please reach out, and talk about these things! I know I am going to try my hardest to keep talking about these things. But please don’t be shocked when I tell a poop joke in that same post. Humor is just how I cope.
I had a few people tell me that they where having a bad day, or week, and I helped them remove a burden from their chest. One said it would help her family member understand it wasn’t “just her”, and that this wasn’t something “all in her head”. These feelings we feel are very real! Yes others go through them too! This is exactly why I blog! I always said I wanted to help at least one person. When I help more than one I feel I have done my job! It motivates me to write more! THANK YOU ALL! I have meaning to post this post for a very long time now, and I apologize that it has taken me so long.
Sadly suicide, suicidal thoughts, depression, and sadness occurs often in people with chronic illness. Especially those with chronic pain. We hear about it often. Most of us know someone dear to us that has taken their own life. Maybe we struggle with these thoughts ourselves? Either way it’s a big problem in the illness community! It remains the most searched terms for my blog. It is remains a frequently searches term on Google. People are searching these terms DAILY! It’s nothing new, and is not going to change any time soon.
Eventually we have to come out of hiding, and face our challenges. If this tiny frog can do it so can you!
My challenge for you is this. If you’re depressed to reach out! Reach out to a family member, friend, a support group on FB, online friends, a partner, or even me. There is no shame in these feelings, and someone will understand. Someone will listen, and someone will be there for you. The only shame is NOT reaching out!
If you’re not sad, or depressed make a plan of action. Write down some things you would do if you found yourself in a situation that you felt helpless. Write down things that make you happy. This way if you’re having a “I hate everything” day you can read this, and be reminded that things really do make you happy. List people you can talk to in your time of need. Always have a plan because you never know what might happen. Being prepared means you will be one step ahead.
Lastly every single day do something that makes you happy! Different things make different people happy. Do these things. Never underestimate how small things can make a big impact in your mood. What will you do today that makes you happy? Go on. Go do it!
Little things can have a huge impact! Sometimes the smallest things get noticed the most!